it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
