We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
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