I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
