I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
