Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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