I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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