How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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