You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
