I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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