so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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