Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just invented taco cereal.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize