Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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