I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
