So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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