Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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