Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
