we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
