we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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