So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
