I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
