its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
