he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
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Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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