erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
