The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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