therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
