____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize