Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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