as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
