I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
