I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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