so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's not a walk of shame if you run
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
