So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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