OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just googled if crying burns calories
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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