Buhtt sex?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
