# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize