This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
