Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
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