yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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