I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
