Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
