All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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