Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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