Hey man sorry I got all grabby
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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