sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize