plz talk dirty to me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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