She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
