Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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