Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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