Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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