erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
