Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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