U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
