I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
