For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize