So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
