That's intense
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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