He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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