Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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