i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
