He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
